28 Years

Tomorrow Kevin and I will have been married 28 years. I guess that is quite an accomplishment. I mean that is what I believe but I don't necessarily understand.

I don't have a clue where those 28 years have gone. I remember the first time we met and I remember yesterday. All the rest is a hodge podge of memories, emotions, events, dates and anything else along those lines. I don't want to say good times and bad times; first, because that is so trite and expected and second, nothing is just one way-all good or all bad. It just is.

The year was 1982. I was 20 years old, (an old maid in those days and in the culture in which I was living. Really, I had people asking me why I wasn't married. So dumb on so many levels. Put that question in the "Are you pregnant?" category. NEVER ask.) I was leaving home for the 2nd and last time, and moved to Provo with a friend. We'd worked together at Huntsman's Grocery Store in Shelley Idaho, and we were ready to leave that tiny town.

It's a bit odd that I chose to move when I did. You see, I had a boy I was absolutely certain I was going to marry who was just about to return from his mission. Yet I felt a strong pull, even urgency, to go ahead and leave town. It didn't make sense. There's no doubt in my mind that we would have dated when he came home... actually we did a lil bit, but I was, you know, living 250 miles away. I do not know that we would've married. And that makes not one bit of difference anyway. The only reason I bring it up is to explain the unexpected (to me) way that I came to be where I did-in Provo, UT.

Yeah. That last sentence is confusing. deal.

This was my plan. Get a job and go to BYU. Accomplishing one was a long process and one didn't happen at all. It took a while to get a job, but I finally landed a job in the prestigious Data Entry field. So glam.

This is where I turn, or return, to my story about Kevin and I's first meeting. The moment that changed our lives forever happened quite soon after I'd moved. I didn't have a job let alone any way of going to BYU at that point.

In the Apartment Complex where we both lived there were frequent dances by the pool. I was pretty shy and didn't really like going to things without a group of friends, (surprise everybody!), and that night I really had no one to go with because I took one of my roommates to the Airport and didn't get home until about 11:30 p.m.. The pool area was pretty packed and I wandered over just to see if I knew anyone there. (Which was a slim chance, since I only knew a couple of girls at that point.)

I saw a couple of guys who looked familiar, (I soon found out why they looked familiar, we were in the same Ward.) Much to my surprise, one of the two asked me to dance. And it wasn't Kevin. bahahaha. gotcha. I have no clue what the other guy's name was now. I do remember thinking he smelled like beer. Not that I have any idea how I'd know a thing about that. Not me. No way.

These weekend pool dances had to end at 12 pm-must've been some Apartment rule, so I didn't do too much dancing. Also only one guy asked. That makes one dance. I sound like a real attractive party girl,
don't I?

After the dance though, that is when Kevin and I began talking. That is what I remember most about that time. From the moment we first knew each other we could talk for HOURS. And we did. Plus other stuff that would gross my kids out even though that is a double standard you guys. I get it though. I want to think about my parents in that way EVER.

From our first meeting we were basically together and here we are all these years later. It's not like we got engaged right away and we did break up a few times, the longest period of separation being 2 days.
We postponed our wedding from our original date in December 1982 to April 29, 1983. Basically 1 year after that dance by the pool.

Was it Fate? Was I SUPPOSED to move to PROVO? You see, I don't believe that there is just ONE person with whom one might make a great life together but I am forever grateful that I met the ONE I did. He was and is my best friend.

28 years makes for a lot of stories but that is all for now. Happy Anniversary to Us.

Le Restaurante

In the interest of meeting the needs and requests of my readership 

I present our evening of dining at Ruth's Chris.

Is that the dumbest name for a restaurant or not?

Think about it.

Mary's Kevin?

(Sean Hannity explained the meaning behind the name numerous times. I still think it's strange.)

(Even stranger is the fact that I listened to his radio show at all.)
(All he did for me was to send me into an apoplectic fit.)

There's not much I can say about these photos.

And trust me, you will not understand them either.

ps The lighting was too weird for me and the camera to work with. I blame the camera.

FYI I do not have a fetish for salt and pepper.
you'll understand

Chipmunk Mouth

It's hard to choose a favorite. Sorry.

This was the last night we were in the land of Disney. Ruth's Chris just happened to be in our hotel parking lot, a fact that Kevin noticed immediately upon our arrival and since he really never had a birthday dinner he decided that was where we'd celebrate. Well, his birthday had nothing to do with anything, other than making us all feel a little less guilty. 

We were plumb tuckered out after our LONG day of speeding through the Park, (something maybe I'll talk about at another time), and I thought we'd just eat in our hotel room. I wasn't especially hungry since I'd just devoured a bag of kettle corn. Something I despaired at finding in the Park and at the last minute did, and also something that tastes much better in theory than reality.

But when the subject of dinner came out Kevin and Jess got all excited about going to Ruth's Chris. (I don't think I can type that name even one more time, so I'll just call it the restaurant from now on.)  I, however, balked at the idea cuz I had kernels coming out my ears, haha, pun intended, and of course all Wes wanted to eat was a Subway Sandwich. Besides I was wearing my crap Disneyland clothes and looked and felt gross and definitely didn't feel like changing. Like any other day, really.

I protested on the grounds that what I was wearing was too casual, but no, K & J were all like, oh, you look fine. Whatever. I didn't change my clothes, but they did. The sneaky little buggers. And I looked like a frazzled bumpkin. And YES it did matter. Maybe in Hickville Utah you can get away with wearing capris and flip flops every single place you go, including the ballet, (not that I would even do that which is surprising considering my low standards), but in real cities, not so much. 

But our money is as good as anyone else's so we were allowed to eat. Thankfully the restaurant was very dimly lit, and I sorta covered myself with the tablecloth once we sat down. 

I am SOOOOOOOOO NOOOOTTTT a steak person so I totally don't get what's so great about The Restaurant... but apparently it was good stuff. No worries, I ate more than my fair share of other yummy food. So much so that I thought my intestines were going to implode.

Now that would've been a pretty picture.

Spring Breakation Twenty Eleven

Wes' Spring Break=Perfect Timing

When we first received Mike's Retirement Announcement announcing that he would be retiring as a Colonel from the United States Marine Corps, (my apologies if my wording is incorrect), we were somewhat discouraged and doubted we'd be able to go because frankly, Wes has missed so much school this year that we darest not take him out of school to go to California. 

Even if we drove down just for the Ceremony Wes would still have to miss too many days. 

But woo to the hoo... upon closer inspection I noticed that the Retirement Ceremony was April 14th, and you guessed it,
that was the Thursday of the week of...

Spring Break!!

(I excel at building up the suspense, do you not agree?)

Therefore, in the spirit of practicalism, we made the decision to hit Disneyland while in So Cal. 

It was just gonna be Kevin, Wes and I going, but first Jessie said she wanted to go, and then Jake said he wanted to go and I always want the whole family together, (Kristen also wanted to go but it was definitely not a possiblity for her), so of course I too wanted them to go on this vacation. 

Turns out Jake had a test he could not miss, but Jessie managed to work it out so she could come with us. (Not so sure if that was a good idea really, (school reasons), but what's done is in the past.) It was a blast to have her with us. I was a happy Mama-face, don't you just know it? I also Jessie made Disneyland a katrillion times more fun for Wes. 

(I should title this post "to go")
(But I'm not going to)

Anydizzle
Here are some crack photos from our trip.
When you take 200 very sub-par at best photos it really becomes difficult to choose just a few to share.
(Remember the sucky camera advice from the last post)

Also, remember this is The Family Buckner take on the happiest place on earth.
nuff said.

LET THE ORIES BEGIN!

I promise that the sign that Jess and Wes are blocking said "Disneyland" when I snapped the photo. Never mind that they're sideways and the a hundred yards away from the sign. 

This was taken on 4/10/2011 fyi. 

It was Sunday, so we just walked around real reverent like.

Below is Wes in heaven, er, I mean, the Lego Store, which we found, to our great happiness, is located in DISNEYLAND, negating any need to go to LEGOLAND!!

If you know anything you know what I'm talking about.

Otherwise you don't care.

Look closely at what the "Try Me" box is doing... super fun.

LEGOMANIAC

OLD FOLKS

Taking a good picture of Kevin and I is just not possible. That's all I got to say about that.

RAWRRRRRR

Can I just say I LOVE Wes' face in this shot!! 

I LOVE Wes' face in this shot!!

Some people are just so much more in tune with their surroundings.

Jess is in tune with looking good in every single photo she's in.

JUNGLE JUXTAPOSITION 

Another fave. 

Such a beautiful day it was.

I call this Woman trying to hide saggy neck

Need I say more?

Other than Why?

Miles of Smiles

This is the line for "California Screaming"

Wes really wasn't nervous... just posing.

Kevin and I rode the rollercoaster 2 times and

Jess and Wes, 3. 

Super duper fun.

I should know why this picture is special, but I don't. 

They sure look cute though.

PETRIFIED RAWRRRRRR

I thought it was awesome that the dino bones were found so conveniently next to Thunder Mountain. I don't know why I'm surprised, it is Disneyland after all.

*****

Last but not least, the Oceanside Harbor.

I feel terrible about the picture taking aspect of this part of our breakation.

Because Mike's (and Lynne's) Ceremony was just so wonderful.

They let us stay for two nights in their beautiful home and we had a great time. Tree house, fantabulous breakfast, (thank you Lynne!), Beautiful views, Bee Invasion, Chatting. 

(for Jess it was mostly homework... not fun for her) 

The best part of all was Thursday Night. 

The worst part is I have no pictures and really no way to describe it right now. 

So much emotion packed into that special evening. 

Once again, thank you to Mike and Lynne. 

Maybe I ought to tell them about this blog. 

hmmmmmm. 

doh.

Oceanside Harbor

blog and learn

People ask me, "Why do YOU have a blog?" Well, really, no one has asked me that but I imagine that is exactly what untold numbers of you are thinking.

All 5 of you who've I've told about this blog. Including 1 who will never look at this here blog, Kevin, cuz he has way more important stuff to do then waste time reading his wife's thoughts. He gets to hear them in real life. Besides, he just doesn't get the whole blog thing. I explained to him my reasons for dumping blogignoramus and I'm pretty sure he was thinking about, well, anything besides anything to do with blogging.

It's become clear to me that the blog world has evolved. Used to be that my brand of blogging was the status quo. Evolution being what it is, even with blogging, change was and is inevitable. To stay stagnant would have been the death of BLOG. I've witnessed several bloggers navigate that change and become all shiny and new and I do admire them. That being said, many of those are NOT the blogs I enjoy reading. Sure, I window shop the cooking, crafting, decorating, etc., blogs, but for me those blogs just don't do it for me. Whatever IT is. For sure I don't think my opinion matters on that subject and I don't expect you to listen to me. yo do yo thing and I'll do mine.

Although, say one of those blog authors with a blog purpose should share a personal story I'll usually stick around and read what that person has to say. I'm all about the slice of life stories. The pictures aren't what I will remember later, it's the story. On the other hand, now that I think about this, sometimes a picture is all it takes.

That is what I think about the whole deal. It's not what you have to think. You think what you want and I'll, you know, judge all the blogs I read for myself.

Yet, and this may seem hugely hypocritical of me, my plan is to include some stuff with a purpose-like cooking and crafting.

I'm serious.

craftin' supplies

Look what I scored yesterday to add to my ever expanding card making supplies! Here's the thing with crafts. You buy a buttload of stuff and actually use about 10%. Especially me-I chose my children's names with less internal debate than I choose from the plethora of paraphernalia related to the construction of homemade cards. Truly, the possibilities are endless.

Plus. I cook good. And I love to read. All things to blog about and blog about them I will. As a bonus I will throw in a life lesson here and there.

Lesson #1. Don't buy just any old I mean new camera. The brand new camera which took that photo is a piece of crap. My phone takes better pictures.

Don't you feel smarter now?

Post #4

I promised a picture. I know you were sitting on pins and needles thinking, "Is she going to post a picture of ME?" No more wondering. The wait is over.

love this amigo, yes i do

It was Spirit Day at school. WHY? I do not know. But Wes got into the "spirit" of things and wore this outfit, including the scowl, happily. I do not think any of my older children ever participated in these sorts of things. At least not so willingly.

If you think that's interesting, wait until you hear this one.

Mr Spirit up there asked, ASKED and wanted to KNOW, how babies are made.

Well, we talked, he is sufficiently grossed out, and he now KNOWS. How much he understands remains to be seen. When he found out about the no underwear part I think his brain shut down a bit.

AHHHHH. The joys of parenthood.

Post #3

I just made my blog PUBLIC. To my kids.

Well, it's open to anyone... so if you're anyone, WELCOME.

Hi kids.

****

Earlier this afternoon my mom called. This isn't news in itself, but the problem is is that she had no memory of us talking just a couple of days ago. I didn't realize this at first, but when she asked me about Mike's retirement ceremony as if it was the first time we'd talked since I'd gotten back home, well, it kind of shook me up.

I felt bad, but I knew I had to tell her. I had to tell her flat out that we'd had the conversation already. This isn't the first time she's forgotten this or that, but this was an entire phone call, a recent one, and she had no memory of our talking. I could tell she was embarrassed. Should I have NOT told her, and spared her feeling badly?

So as surely as I knew I had to tell her, I am not so sure I should have.

The phone call didn't go well after that anyway. It hurts so much to see her losing herself. I do not know what to do.

I could take this topic and worry it to death. Which I will another day, or days. You have to get to a certain spot in your mind in order to think about it objectively. I'm speaking for myself of course. And there's no way I will ever be objective about this. I can feel the emotional orchestra tuning up right now.

Post #4 will have a picture.

Post #2

I love poetry more than words than can say. Which is irony in its most poetic form. The magical way a poet uses WORDS and turns them into something that can hardly be described with words. If I say a poem is beautiful, maybe that will change the meaning of the poem. For years I've heard of "The Raven" but had not really read it until the other day. I'd heard how haunting it was... and perhaps because I was looking for that that is not what I found.

You can derive so many meanings from a poem by the way you read... aloud or silently... quickly or taking each word slowly... read a sentence and STOP and read another, etc... or read and let the words sink into you in their own way. Read it and wait to see how you feel. That is my favorite way.

I've thought about this a lot over the past while. And how I get ideas at the most inconvenient times. When I'm driving is a big one. Another is vacuuming. Two things that have really nothing in common other than that they are pretty mindless tasks. It's disturbing that I consider driving mindlessly to be okay. Listen to me children; it is NOT.

I think that if I used a poetic voice that I could get the weirdness out of me and perhaps understand myself a little better. Cuz I am a stranger to myself at times. Is this common? Just so you know, I am NOT a poet. I want you to know that I KNOW this. Loving poetry and be any good at creating such are not the same thing.

Good thing I made that perfectly clear.

Wow the thoughts I had while driving earlier today, well, they were EPIC. And NOW they are buried. Do they bury themselves, or do I?

I read that poetry takes two (or more) different thoughts and weaves them together into one. Or it can anyway. There's no way to pin down poetry to one single definition or style or meaning.

But that thought speaks to me. I don't see things as black and white, I don't make decisions well, I don't stand by my convictions as I probably should. I'm wishy washy. Why else would I have about 8 blogs sitting around? But at the same time, I feel things so surely and deeply that I can't breathe. (Okay, obviously, I am breathing, but there are times that I have to stop and think about the process. I do not kid.)

Unawares to anyone my chest stills
one hand of tiny fingers grips my thoughts
the other my heart
you're taking life too fast is what
I think I'm being told yet
I know the moment will be lost
the treasure which sparkles and beckons
is going to walk out the door and
leave me alone
and I will remember then that I needed to seize the moment
and...
that is why I forget to breathe.


The awesomeness of an unknown blog is so awesome. My thought process is immature, and I'm too old to think that way. But Yo. I can think any which way I want here. Twisted.

Post #1

My head is stuffed full of stuff. And I can put it that way cuz this blog comes from nobody. Am I ever happy about that.

Out of the rat race. To anyone from blogland who knew me before I hope you're not offended that I just called you a rat. I was a rat too. Member of the rat pack as a matter of fact. To my nearest and dearest: I do not consider you to be rats. Never did.

It took months of indecisiveness, which happens to be my speciality folks, and one day I looked at my blog and said NO MORE.

So now I blog with freedom. I say what I want. This does not mean that I will write anything, or at least intentionally, to hurt anyone. It's only people I care about who might read my words whom I give a hoot about. No idea if I just used who or whom correctly.

This is the end of my first post.

The End.