The Voice

I haven't had the time or really the desire to be blogging over the past few weeks. The lack of desire has a direct correlation to the lack of time. Has a or is in?

This morning is the morning of Jessie's first time at the Temple. Where she will receive her endowment, which is a big deal. Only she's the last one to know how big a deal this is and her mind will be so overloaded with information that there will probably be only one or two things she will remember about this first time. Maybe she's better prepared than I was. Heaven knows she's smarter than I was on that day just over 28 years ago. It isn't fair for me to predict her reaction. So scratch all that I just said. The fact that girls usually make this step a few days before their marriage nowadays is brilliant- I was shell shocked myself and I think I wasn't as present as I would have liked on our during our wedding-which was the next day.

If you read this Jessie I do want you to know that there is no need to be worried about this step even though I'm making it sound like a hugely daunting experience. It isn't. It's actually quite wonderful-it's just hard to recognize its wonderfulness at first.

There will be a lot of firsts for J &T these next few days. Weeks. Years. My advice is to keep your sense of humor and have fun and always be there for each other. Always. Never ever say things when you're apart that you wouldn't say when together. Unless it involves a gift. Even then keep in mind each other's feelings. Never do something to purposely hurt him/her. Talk to each other and always trust in each other. I'd say trust is the most important thing for a marriage. Notice I didn't say sometimes or maybe. IT IS the foundation of a good marriage. The only caveat being the obvious importance of your Temple sealing and your shared beliefs.

I've thought several times over these weeks of the difference in their situation and K & I's when we were wed. Although they're not flush with cash, they are starting out with so many more of the material things of life than we did. Which isn't hard since we had nothing but a used waterbed, a gross crappy one at that, and a whole lot of towels. I'm happy that this is the case, I mean their case; that they are set this way. But as I've thought about this more and remember those first years I realize that our lack of possessions made us rely on each other and more importantly I don't remember it making us love each other any less. It wasn't easy and I yearned for real furniture and nice things and although we lived off a credit cards for quite a while, which is kind of terrible, we made it. Kevin was unemployed for a while and that good man did everything he could to find a job and wasn't too proud to work at whatever job he could find. He would get up in the morning and wait I don't remember where to work as a day laborer. Tree cutting, construction, anything. I had a job that paid at the most $8 an hour. Even when he did start working for Provo Craft and us moving to Cedar City we were poor as church mice. We had babies, and those things are expensive for sure, and we were always blessed to have just enough financially.

So, this isn't what I intended to write at all. I started out thinking about when I got sucked into the surreal world of woman bloggers and the weird friendships that had no meaning and the time I wasted, etc. What might have been if I hadn't. The voice that was whispering to me pretty much that whole time that blogging with the intent to rake in followers and please other bloggers and losing my real voice and the childishness it brought out in me was just so not right. It's like a world tipped on its axis. There is the voice you think you hear when what you really are is nervous and or scared, and then there are the whisperings that make good sense and usually comes when you know you've screwed up and already know instinctively that the voice is right. Then there is the voice that pops into your mind when you aren't expecting it to and that is a different story.

Y'all know what I mean by voice.

And so, here I am. It's time for me to get a move on it and shower and for the ADD to settle in for the day. Time to let the real voice help me to be calm and ready to enjoy this day. Make today count. I want to remember as much as I can about today. Which it probably won't because what I remember most about Kristen's first time at the Temple is the laundry tips the nice worker gave. All the time before then I thought it was warm water. Now I know you're supposed to launder you know what in COLD. And I do remember Kristen's utter faith. She's a good one that girl.

Happy day to you Jessie. Looking forward to your other happy day this week. I hope that you'll remember this day with fondness. And the laundry advice.