The Others

You know, a lot of people are just naturally nice. They think the best of who they do and do not know and sincerely wish them well. They look for the good. They lose themselves in the service of others.

I'm not one of those people.

I wonder how I got that way. So quick to judge, to presume I know someone before I really do. Nine times out of ten I am wrong. And it goes both ways. I will prejudge someone as being good when actually they're not so much. At least as far as it pertains to me and to those I love. Some of you will know what I'm talking about.

The majority of the time when I think I've pegged someone's personality, that I know 'who they are', welp, you guessed it, I'm wrong.

BUT there are times when I hit it right on the nail.

I shouldn't be that way, I do not want to act that way. I don't want that to be my 'go to' way of thinking when I meet a person or accidentally or fatefully cross paths with one or two or how many others. It confounds me, and truthfully, I feel shameful that I've somehow let that become part of my nature.

Here's what I think. I think, (and this occurred to me while sitting in a Primary Sharing Time listening to an excellent presentation on the importance of being Christ like and building unity with others), that I spend so much time in the ME box thinking of me myself and I, that I judge others based on how I judge myself. And I don't so much like myself, and so my automatic response is to be judgmental in the bad sort of way, and think I KNOW who this person is, when I don't.

I have heard that what you don't like in others is really what you don't like about yourself. You also buy gifts for people based on what you'd like for yourself, but that is beside the point.

None of this is new, just a reminder for me to work on this problem. Change takes practice, and, I believe, a real desire. I've found for myself that prayer is about the only way I make any progress towards changing. And now I've exposed myself for the judgmental, me box thinking, unprayerful person I be. Just typing this post is indicative of who I think about most.

Dichotomy though... often I will have such an empathetic feeling towards a person that I'm physically, metaphorically speaking, touched. Also, sometimes my gut tells me what my heart doesn't or won't accept.

blahblahblah. What I really want to do is to be a better person. Th-th-th-at's all.

PICTURE TIME:

Poetry in Motion

Now, go shut the front door.

There Are No Words

There are not enough words in the English language to express emotion. I don't know about other languages, you see, because learning a foreign language wasn't a requirement back in the day at my podunk H.S.. (However, there was a Speech class requirement, and oh how I loathed that class. So MUCH. Which has nothing to do with anything.)

Besides, who in fact 'learns' a foreign language in a couple of hours every other school day for 1-2 years? See, more words would have helped me shorten that last sentence. Interesting that knowing MORE words could help one be more concise.

I wish there were enough, or that I knew enough, words. I'm fairly certain the problem lies in the fact that I don't carry a thesaurus in my brain. That would certainly be useful/functional/advantageous/convenient/effective/commodious/etc. etc.. STILL...  Even with an inner cranial thesaurus I doubt that it is possible to express the subtle nuances of thought for anyone. I hope that Heaven has its own language.

There are so many times when I really have the need to describe my opinion or how I'm feeling and I have no words in my linguistical repertoire to do so. So I make up words, example: linguistical.

It is frustrating. The words, (supposing I had them), are on the tip of my tongue but apparently not in my brain, and I'm left scrambling to spit out something meaningful, anything to make my complicated thoughts understandable. Maybe then, people would WANT to listen instead of thinking they know what I'm going to say and cutting me off. It's like a constant giant 'talk to the hand' in front of my face. (Not that that bothers me. whatev.)

The best thing about this random post is the fact that I've said the same thing in 5 different paragraphs. It's all in the repetition folks. It's all me.



foofaraw: noun. 1. excessive or flashy ornamentation; a fuss over trivial matter. 2. A fuss over a matter of little importance.

"A somber, muted descending motif opens and closes the work, which is brief but effective. It provided much needed relief from the fanfares and foofaraw in which brass-going composers of so often indulge."

Who talks that way? I have to say, I'm jealous of anyone who can and does. 

You might say that I'm making a foofaraw over nothing. But that's only because I don't have the words to make myself clear. (Nor the magical powers.)

The View: Again. 

Sometimes a picture really is worth a 1000 words.

Word

I just found out about a website through a friend on FB. It's called Typetrigger. I'm not gonna link it up cuz a. I don't want to and b. I'm not a real writer and that's who the intended user is; a real writer. The idea behind Typetrigger is to 'trigger' a thought or idea from a prompt they provide and then have you write your take on it. I'm pretty sure it is geared toward fiction writers........... but too bad. I can do what I wanna. It's a free blogworld.

Today the prompt is "The Awful Word"


These sorts of suggestions/prompts are right up my alley cuz they're so wide open to interpretation.

I'm not clever enough to write a fictional piece. Well to tell the truth, I think I AM clever enough, I just can't or won't take the time. I always feel like I'm wasting valuable time when I'm dinking around on this blog, which btw was a major contributor in me deleting, yes DELETING, Blogignoramus. fyi-if you delete a blog there is an UNDELETE button. bwahahahaha. Perfect for people like me.

As far as The Awful Word goes, here's my take. I make no claims that this will be of any interest to any person besides me.

There are the obvious awful words and I could point you towards a site, reddit, which I can't even read when Wes is around cuz the F word is written in almost every headline. And the actual comments? Forget about it. No matter what the convo, could be nerf guns, could be a recipe, that word will come out of somebody's mouth, or shall I say fingers. But I am either becoming conditioned to the word or don't care enough because I will read reddit anyway. If it's said a thousand times I exit, but here and there is okay with me. I don't really know why but the F word bothers me more in written form than if I hear it from a movie or infer what is blurred out on TV.

Well, whatever, I hadn't planned on writing about a word which I rarely ever heard 20 years ago and now is part of seemingly every colloquial conversation. You know, judging from the internet, movies and TV-which is such a wise way to base all your beliefs.

Moving on. I think of "The Awful Word" in other ways too. One of those ways is sarcasm. An attitude of sarcasm can really only be delivered through words as opposed to anger or happiness or other types of emotion. I do think sarcasm derives from a feeling; a feeling of disdain mixed with insecurity. Sarcasm is a cohort of cynicism. Sarcastic people are usually cynical but the difference lies in the delivery and the humor. I'm not sure if sarcasm is hereditary but I suspect it to be so. With my vast scientific knowledge. Sometimes pure observation and the obvious are enough to make a judgement. That there are people who say they hate or don't understand sarcasm is hard for me to fathom.

All this talk of sarcasm stems from a load of such which was dumped all over a certain someone last Sunday and I feel kind of bad about what went down. He sure is a good sport or maybe doesn't pick up on our sarcastic attitude. We're not too subtle, so I can't imagine how he wouldn't catch on.

Awful word, awful attitude. Using or depending on either is a habit and an automatic response to anything really. I don't think I could stop being sarcastic anymore than I could give up eating. I just better not start using the F word.

When I first read the prompt that brought forth this post I didn't even think about what I've just written.  SURPRISE! My brain just gets revved up and I write whatever comes first to mind. So uncool.

What I thought of is a certain 10 year boy who resides in my same home who's latest thing to say is "hurtful". This is his response to 99% of anything directed towards him, which, as you can probably deduce, is completely irrelevant to anything said. He just thinks it's funny and I don't. It's also a habit. He has learned the hard way that not everyone 'gets' or appreciates sarcasm, namely Mr O., and I hope for his sake that he saves 'hurtful' for home. For my sake I just want him to mix it up a little bit. I'm bugged more from his repetitive use of the word than any meaning he or I ascribes to it.

That's it for "The Awful Word".

Because every post needs a picture, here you go:

Jessie

Just because.